We all get frustrated from time to time, but we need to express it constructively and effectively, otherwise we may hurt those we love the most.
Frustration is a normal reaction to being hurt, threatened, or unable to fulfill current needs. It’s how we express our frustration that can cause additional stress in our own lives and in the lives of others.
Most often, the way we deal with frustration is formed at a very young age. For example, we may mirror our parent’s reaction, or we may respond in the way we were conditioned because of our life experiences.
If the typical way you handle frustration causes problems in your life, then it’s time to change how you think and react to frustrating situations.
* Unhealthy methods of processing frustration can lead to health problems and even inhibit our relationships with others.
How to Deal with Frustration Effectively
Many people respond to frustration by getting angry, giving up, or indulging in other self-destructive behaviors such as abuse of food, alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. Expressing and dealing with frustration constructively requires several key components.
These ideas can help reduce the frustration in your day-to-day life as well as help you react patiently and peacefully:
1. Establish mutual respect. You should have a mutual respect for all people involved, even those with differing opinions than your own. Everyone is entitled to his or her own voice and you’ll waste precious time if you’re frustrated by every differing opinion.
2. Have a clear awareness of your own needs, thoughts, and feelings. Discover who you are as a person rather than mimicking someone else’s opinions and thoughts.
3. Learn the difference between surface and primary needs. In other words, is this frustration about one of your basic needs not being met, or is it merely due to a less significant, secondary need? What’s preventing you from meeting this need?
4. Be aware of what you can and cannot control. Some causes of frustration are beyond your control and therefore there’s no purpose in wasting energy on them. Instead, use that energy to cope with the situation and move on.
5. Communicate constructively. Be able to communicate your own personal boundaries and needs calmly and respectfully without guilt or shame. This should not involve raising your voice or swearing. Rather, learn to speak up so your personal needs are met.
6. Avoid feeling responsible for the behavior of others. Everyone has his or her own free will and you can’t force someone to do something. They make their own decisions and a reasonable adult will take responsibility for their own actions. Remember: only you can control your actions and no one can make you do something against your will.
7. Determine the cause. By identifying the cause of your hurt or frustration without placing blame, you’ll loosen the grips of frustration.
8. Realize that frustration isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes frustration can serve as a motivator to change if certain problems in your life are keeping you from reaching your goals.
* Regularly evaluate if you’re on track to meet your life goals. Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? Sometimes you need to create a new goal and make some life changes to reduce your frustration and make your goal become a reality.
9. Accept reality. When frustration is aimed at a circumstance beyond our control, it’s time to learn to accept the realities of life.
* Learning to take things in stride will make you a happier and more content person. When the frustrating situation is something you can’t control, such as getting stuck in traffic, practicing relaxation and deep-breathing techniques can be effective.
Frustration can turn a normally peaceful person into an irrational, angry one. If you allow it, frustration can hinder your progress and immobilize you. The goals you’re trying to attain will all of a sudden be out of reach. Remember that, while you can’t completely eliminate frustration from your life, you can manage how you let it affect you.
Whether you drive to work, take the subway, or hop on a bus, there are many different things you can do to get things moving in your day.
Commutes often take up quite a bit of time, especially during rush hour. You may as well take full advantage of the time you have in order to ensure that your day is optimized for success.
There are many ways to jump-start your day while commuting to work. Here are some activities you can do while you travel to get a great start to your day:
1. Listen to self-improvement audios. If you’re traveling to work in your car, invest in some good self-improvement CDs, audio books, or MP3 downloads.
* As you travel, listen to these CDs and learn how to unlock your potential, organize your day, prioritize, increase your self-esteem, or other key personal growth strategies.
* iPods or MP3 players are perfect for those who carpool or ride a bus or subway to work.
* Indulge yourself by listening to your favorite podcasts with your iPod, either entertainment, self-improvement or business-oriented.
2. Plan your day. If you commute by way of a bus or subway, or even in a car pool, you can take advantage of the time by planning your day or detailing project plans.
* Write down notes about your various projects, prioritize your daily tasks by creating a to-do list, or schedule meetings by using your laptop or phone.
* Be wary of talking on your cell phone while commuting. Loud conversations can annoy other travelers and your reception might be spotty at times.
3. Take care of emails. Email is a common time trap during the day. If you have access to the internet during your commute, it may be an ideal time to check your email for any important information or to reply to those emails that have long been awaiting your response.
* Taking care of administrative or simple email tasks on the way to work can help ease the load when you get to the office.
* Organizing your inbox with filters and folders can make checking email a quick task. Set limits about checking email once you reach the office to assure you’re working most efficiently.
4. Relax with hobbies or learn new things. Use your commuting time to do something fun for yourself, such as studying a new language or learning about a topic that draws your interest. You can keep your mind sharp and discover new things by taking the time you have during your commute to experience something different.
* What have you always wanted to do but never find the time for? Sit down with your favorite crossword puzzle or magazine, or watch a favorite television show on your laptop or phone. Enjoy your time before work begins!
5. Eat breakfast. If you’re running out of the house to catch a train or bus, take a minute to grab a healthy breakfast to eat on your way to work. Many commuter stations have breakfast carts available so grab something to eat alongside your morning tea or coffee.
* Not only will breakfast jumpstart your metabolism but you’ll also have increased energy by the time you reach the office.
These are just a few different ways to jump-start your day during your morning commute. While you may only have a limited amount of time in the morning, you can really make the best of it!
If you take the time to chat with any number of truly successful people, you will find that the key to their success usually comes from knowing how to tap into the resources of other, when they themselves are limited by their own personal resources. Usually this resource comes in the form of insider knowledge which can be leveraged into great results.
But there is a simple reason why this works so well. Achieving goals is not a solitary process and help in some form is often needed to make the process easier. There are any number of ways to reach what you have determined is success, but an excellent way is to develop your own support team, your mastermind group, or find a group of like minded individuals to enhance your goal achievement.
Keep in mind that you are not reinventing the wheel here. Just because you have a goal doesn’t mean that everything has to be done the hard way in order to claim it as yours. Few original ideas remain in this world. It is your personal take on them that makes your goals unique.
In order to make reaching your goal a simpler process that doesn’t have you pulling your hair out or feeling like you have to do everything all by yourself, create your own support team. This is a group of people that can be counted on at different times to help you reach the end of your goal. The team can consist of anyone that you trust implicitly to have your best interests at heart.
Start with those closest to you. Family members can take an interest in your goal. To make it official, have them sign a contract that states they will assist you in specific ways during the achievement of this goal. These contracts are like pacts between people to support one another.
You might find that family members are willing to help, until they have to tell you the hard things. Instead they may sugar coat or even down right lie to you about something for fear of hurting your feelings. In that case, family members are perfect as your pep team. They can be there to cheer you on and pick you up when you are down in the dumps about your goal.
Next, call on the help of friends. It isn’t necessary to give them all the details about the goal but ask them to check in on you from time to time in an effort to keep you focused on the goal. That doesn’t require specifics just a willingness to be a caring partner in the process.
Church groups can help achieve goals as well. Become a part of a prayer group to increase your spiritual strength as you undertake this goal. For religious individuals, the spiritual component of the support team is an integral part of achieving their goals and should not be left out.
Another great way to get support in reaching your goals is with a mastermind group. What is a mastermind group you might ask? It is a group composed of people who are all working towards the same or similar goal. They may be taking a different path to get there, but each person in the group is united in the fact that some day they will all achieve that goal.
These groups can be found on the Internet or you can create your own if you have the time and the drive. Mastermind groups are helpful for business and personal goals. They share ideas, experiences, resources, and motivation to help all members get to the next level of completing their goals.
Everyone in the group has a common goal and realizes that many heads are better than one. Mastermind groups form alliances that can be helpful and productive beyond just your current goals too. If a goal is particularly trying at times, it is a tremendous relief to know that someone else out there knows exactly how you feel.
These groups are also great for being honest with you when it comes to the hard times of achieving your goals. Members won’t be afraid of hurting your feelings, like friends or family might be, and will simply tell it like it is. Sometimes, whether we like it or not, that’s exactly what we need in order to overcome hurdles and get to the finish line.
Most people never realize that setting goals can be effortless if it is done the right way. It’s not hard to think up or even write your goals down, but achieving them on the other hand, can present quite a challenge.
In order to reach your goals, it is important that you maintain your focus on the end result, especially when things don’t seem to work out the way you had planned.
Here are a few simple strategies that can help you stay focused on your goals so that you reach your desired end and see the results you want.
1. Create a visual reminder. A wish book contains pictures, personal reflections and other notes related to the finished goal. Let’s pretend for a moment that your goal is to start a restaurant.
Create a restaurant wish book full of pictures such as cutouts from magazines depicting restaurant grand openings, the type of furniture you would like in the restaurant, famous people coming to visit, or even a fake review that you have written about your impending opening night. Visual reminders are meant to encourage and keep your eye on the prize when you hit a rough spot in your plans.
2. Ask for help. This point can’t be stated enough. No man or woman is an island. Without help, everyone would fail at something. We’re not talking about help to start the business or any actual physical labor. This kind of help refers to support for you in general. Support such as weekly phone calls with a friend or mentor for encouragement, focusing sessions, or even just a sounding board for you when things get a bit off course.
3. Reassess the game plan. A goal is only as good as the plan behind it. Looking at that plan every three to six months, let’s you see what can be tweaked or omitted all together. As things change, so do the steps in that plan. If one step involved starting a website business by the end of the year, a major move to another state can put that on hold. Instead, maybe selling items on eBay or similar auction site would help keep you in the loop, without the pressure of reaching your original goal until the move is over.
4. Reward yourself. For every step along the way that brings you closer to your goal, celebrate. It can be a night on the town with friends, a new outfit, or a quiet weekend alone. If the goal involves saving money, then the quiet weekend alone would not dip into your coffers. For weight loss goals, a new outfit or trip to the movies won’t ruin all of the work you have done up to that point.
5. Learn how to deal with setbacks. One reason people lose focus on their goals is a temporary delay or two. They call them failures, when in all honesty, they are anything but. Setbacks can signal that the goal needs a new direction or you need to rededicate yourself to the task at hand. Put it into perspective, deal with the hindrance and move on.
Staying focused on a goal can be tricky and even hazy at times. To correct your vision and stay focused on the final result, use the five tips above as often as needed throughout the process of completing your goal.
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